Would like to return to feel able to, implement some healthy habit, regain confidence, self-esteem and believing in yourself? Then keep reading!
This exercise will also help us to improve our strength of will (self-control) you remember that is a skill. So you can train it!
I’m going to tell you about a system that I use in my coaching sessions and has some very interesting results to solve this laziness that sense of failure and frustration.
Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation of blockade/disability in which it is difficult to start doing things. The causes of that can be:
- Feel unable to do something without having tried before or due to a lack of belief in yourself.
- Laziness to see a long and heavy way to project ourselves into the future which makes that we spared easily and prefer more desirable tasks. Although if you like the habit the feeling of sacrifice does not compensate.
- We have tried several times and have failed so we feel helpless, useless or frustrated about the situation. Remember that you have failed before, doesn’t mean that you cannot build it now.
What to do if you find yourself in any of these situations?
To tell the plan I will take as an example a habit that many people would like to do but which by any of the above cases is made us uphill.
Suppose that you want to read every day but every time you have tried it you haven’t been able to you overwhelmed, you feel lazy, you have “better things” to do, you don’t find the moment…
The idea is simple:
Simplifies, what you want to achieve, to the minimum exponent.
The plan specifically in 3 steps:
- Read a sheet daily.
- Without any obligation, if you read more than one, enjoy it. Recalls that the next day will remain the objective read one a day.
- Celebrate and feel happy for this reason.
This is the best way to feel capable, incorporate healthy habits, regain your confidence, self-esteem and return to believe in yourself.
I know what you’re thinking… “How I am going to be happy to have done that? It is too simple, it don’t fills me… “
That is the point, it need to fill you, first you need to acquire the habit of opening the book.” In one or two months will be a habit and it will take at least 60 pages more than now… 365 pages a year is much more than zero, don’t you think? It is little bit much.
The important thing is that it is done for now we don’t care about the quality of the process or internal assessments regardless. The challenge is: just do the minimum.
Whenever it appears the attempt an internal voice that tell us “that is not enough” “you’re the worst get happy with only one page” “this not going to lead to anything” “you are a shame…” etc. Any mental phrase that wants to scupper the plan of action do the following things:
We are going to say “thank you for participating but I command you today”. In this way we seek to eliminate that inner judge that does not allow us to do little and at the same time does not help us to do a lot.
That voice is the one that tells you that you have to put an hour or not: that judge set according to your environment how much is what “should read” and if you don’t fit into that should be for less is a failure and before fail prefers not to do so and fill your head excuses and alternative plans to cope with that failure. But with the new target failing is not an option.
Removes that voice, send it to a ride! This is not the objective, is not read an hour, is simply to start the activity, keep it and commit and looking again, be the minimum exponent of what we want to achieve. That is MORE THAN ENOUGH and we will get in this way gradually regain confidence and self-esteem.
There are times that it is better that it be done, regardless of the quality and this is one of them.
Taking this led to a general method to regain confidence and self-esteem:
Sets a task, simple, small, which is easy to do and requires low-energy physics.
For example make the bed every morning.
We want you to do the minimal expression of the concept “make bed” or what you choose. We want that you commit to make at least the minimum to cover the process of making the bed, for example pulling the quilt over, even if it is wrong, no matter, it only matters to do something.
Recalls should be something simple, small, requiring very little energy.
Don’t be hard and demanding with yourself, this is the path that has led you to where you are. Be patient and take care of you. Once regardless of quality CELEBRATE IT! “But how I’m going to celebrate such a silliness?” If that thought appears say “Thank you for participating, I command you today I” and raise your arms and celebrate it!
The brain loves to do things that we celebrate. So do it! So you will help future events. How to live an experience after performing it is the starting point of the same experience for future situations.
Now repeated this 4 to 8 weeks. You will see results before that time.
Simple? Then do not put excuses if the idea is to start reading, simply put the book where you can dedicate a page a day, for example, where you have breakfast, in the bathroom, on the bedside table… and don’t forget to celebrate it!
We have to understand that in our minds there are multiple “entities”: one that is an entity that wants to do things and another which is an entity that does not want to do things. One seeks to achieve objectives and another seeks to sabotage them.
The important thing is to understand that when we put a simple, simple and low cost energy challenge possibly we are giving our two “I’s” satisfaction, one by the goal and the other having to be something with immediate reward hardly time to sabotage us. The goal is not enough to exhaust ourselves emotionally, therefore, possible that this saboteur not come to bother since the task will seem insignificant and not going against his wishes, instead if you think read more time, is, is burden and will give you a thousand more appealing alternatives.
Just get with the idea in mind of read or do the minimum possible expression of what you want to achieve, flows where appears the option to do it for longer, but the next day back to your goal of making the minimum exponent (if you see the voice telling you “yesterday you did it for longer or better… blablabla” reminds “thank you for participating but today I am in command”) and above all don’t forget… celebrate it! Just to us, again put ourselves, it is a great victory!